I was recently e-introduced to some of my future flat mates. We're all studying similar programs and instantly I started judging: myself, not them. They seemed more intellectual, talented, worldly and sophisticated. And who am I? Well, some American who fakes a British accent from time to time, loves sweets and enjoys a fair amount of 'chick-lit.' I don't know why I do this to myself. I must find some type of pleasure in taking a mental beat down. And to be honest, it's embarrassing to admit that sometimes I feel insecure, unsure and even uncertain as to why I'm sharing this with you.
Anyway, later that night I started reviewing some of the video journals I made about a month ago. There was one in particular that surprised me. It was the shortest video but in it I said, with sincerity that I could feel, "I just want to thank the Lord for making me this way. With a creative mind. It's just who I am."
And for a moment I felt comforted in who I was.
Yeah, this is me lately. I keep comparing myself to other people, and then I look back on old journal entries, poems, pieces of writing and sketches and I realize that it's a phase I'm going through. I'm not incapable, I'm just getting into a bad habit that I'm capable of changing.
ReplyDeleteWe just need to remember that our faith is in Him who has made/is making us, and not in our imperfect selves.
You're a beautiful writer and woman of God. Keep posting! :)